Tuesday, October 12, 2010

SlapStick Comedy Chapter 3


INT.  CITY BUS --  DAY

Guy Slipstack sleeps in his seat on his way across town.
He tips over into a WHEEL CHAIR VETERAN's lap. The Vet CHOPS him on the back of the neck. 

Guy bounces up and spins in a circle. He waves a hand in front of the Vet then pokes him in the ribs over and over, TICKLING him.

A little girl laughs at the show.
GUY
I saw this on These Tre Stooges.
It actually works.

WHEEL CHAIR VETERAN
Hey! Whaaaa! Hee! Hey! Get lost!

Then he realizes he has slept through his stop.
GUY
Driver... uh, I'd would like to... deFart.

DRIVER
Excuse me?

GUY
De FART! De FART! Make my DeFarture!

DRIVER
DeParture?

GUY
Oui, this is how we say it in France, depart,
In English, de Fart.

DRIVER
(pulling the bus over)
Who told you that? Ridiculous.

EXT.  BUS STOP -- DAY

Guy wipes back his slicked hair and places his bowler on his head.
He steps off the bus, but the DOORS CLOSE on his HIND FOOT.

He turns and pulls his LEG AND CROTCH up higher and higher but it doesn't budge. He squeaks out some farts.

DRIVER
Get yer foot out! I can't open or close!

GUY
Owwwweeeee!
Guy wiggles his foot and the SHOE FALLS OFF.

Finally he pulls his foot out and it lands in a PUDDLE.

The Driver opens the door... with a LOOK.

Guy grabs his shoe and the doors close quick enough to trap his HAT on the inside. The BUS DEPARTS.

GUY
De Farting with my hat! Mondu.

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